


The Sacred Group Chat of Homos

by SpoiledSiriusly



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Consensual Underage Sex, Group chat, I think girls r icky so it's all XY chromosomes up in this bitch, M/M, Texting, Underage Drinking, dey cute fuck off, eat shit I like petekey, i almost made it geetrick consider, text fic, these r honestly the best to read so fuck off thanks, yourself lucky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:05:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 13,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9797615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpoiledSiriusly/pseuds/SpoiledSiriusly
Summary: I'm sorry tbh***tricky tree: heckerpetey pie: eat shit my small friendbrendank: well all know patty ain't smallMilky Way: actually go to hell all of youGeeWee: stop making dick jokesfrnk: ycandy: message me on chat live . com!joepromo: Andy shove your fake ass chat site up your assbrendank: we are a collective mess but much calmer than those other group chat storiespetey pie: stop breaking the 4th wall asshole





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> am I creative? no. I'm trying with these names don't shoot 
> 
> PATRICK: tricky tree  
> PETE: petey pie  
> BRENDON: brendank  
> MIKEYWAY: Milky Way  
> GERARD: GeeWee  
> FRANK: frnk  
> ANDY: Candy  
> JOE: joepromo
> 
> not yet seen:  
> TYLER: typo  
> JOSH: kissy jishy  
> RAY: bottom dweller  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dillon months  
> SPENCER: cash money  
> RYAN: marshalls 
> 
> OKAY LISTEN. The last names r so much more creative bc I can okay eat shit

tricky tree: hecker

petey pie: eat shit my small friend

brendank: well all know patty ain't small

Milky Way: actually go to hell all of you

GeeWee: stop making dick jokes

frnk: y

candy: message me on chat live . com!

joepromo: Andy shove your fake ass chat site up your ass

brendank: we are a collective mess but much calmer than those other group chat stories

petey pie: stop breaking the 4th wall asshole

 

***

typo: all my friends r nerds

kissy jishy: I am one of those friends am I a nerd

typo: yes kissy jishy: im offended on behalf of everyone

typo: I know they're all too lazy to fight back so I can say whatever I want

kissy jishy: that is true

kissy jishy: but y r u PMing me coward say it to their faces

typo: u dare

kissy jishy: I dare


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I say eat shit a lot that may leak onto my characters oops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am I creative? no. I'm trying with these names don't shoot
> 
> PATRICK: tricky tree  
> PETE: petey pie  
> BRENDON: brendank  
> MIKEYWAY: Milky Way  
> GERARD: GeeWee  
> FRANK: frnk  
> ANDY: Candy  
> JOE: joepromo  
> TYLER: typo  
> JOSH: kissy jishy
> 
> RAY: bottom dweller  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dillon months  
> SPENCER: cash money  
> RYAN: marshalls

_typo added: kissy jishy, tricky tree, petey pie, joepromo, candy, brendank, GeeWee, frnk and Milky Way to a conversation._

 

_t_ _ypo_ _named the conversation: I dare_

 

typo: all my friends r nerds 

 

kissy jishy: oh right to their faces 

 

petey pie: that's harsh, man

 

typo: the sixties called they want their sentence structure back 

 

kissy jishy: you are on fire today Tyler 

 

typo: :-)

 

tricky tree: the name typo suggests that you think of yourself as a mistake and as of right now I do not disagree 

 

GeeWee: roast him future psych major 

 

petey pie: woah shots fired

 

frnk: do you all honestly have nothing better to do

 

petey pie: no

 

typo: no

 

kissy jishy: no

 

tricky tree: no 

 

GeeWee: no

 

GeeWee: I could be doing u but sodium 

 

typo: I get it haha 

 

GeeWee: and u called us nerds ? also Patrick u forgot to mention: Tyler is a wannabe science major. can't get much nerdier. 

 

frnk: it's hot when u roast ppl 

 

frmk: also stop mentioning college not all of us r seniors old man

 

brendank: yeah I'm a freshman 

 

GeeWee: I a m s t r e s s e d 

 

frnk: gee hunny we all know ur gonna either major in art or music and minor in the other 

 

brendank: did any1 have Triso

 

petey pie: I did he's a dick 

 

brendank: fuck me 

 

tricky tree: bren u r 14 

 

brendank: ok MOM

 

tricky tree: I am going now 

 

tricky tree: my mom wants to go school shopping school doesn't start for like 3 weeks 

 

petey pie: well we know what classes we have 

 

frnk: for the love of literally anything stop talking about school 

 

Milky Way: oh not this shit 

 

Milky Way: I do not want to be apart of this cliche actually go suck a dick 

 

frnk: gladly but not yours 

 

Milky Way: please stay away from me 

 

frnk: also gladly

 

tricky tree: heh Mikey u start high school with Bren right? 

 

Milky Way: yeah y

 

tricky tree: nothing :-)

 

petey pie: he has a sinister plan

 

GeeWee: I am less stressed and before u ask no it wasn't drugs 

 

GeeWee: aren't Andy and joe in this chat too 

 

joepromo: yeppers peppers

 

candy: we are lurkers 

 

petey pie: ugh 

 

tricky tree: I have to go really now bye guys 

 

Milkey Way: bye 

 

typo: this chat is hella lit oh my god it's not a flop 

 

kissy jishy: floppy dick

 

typo: no 

 

Milky Way: no

 

frnk: no 

 

petey pie: no

 

frnk: this chat isn't funny enough for screenshots bye cunts

 

petey pie: wait great idea guys get funny we'll be popular 

 

typo: I'm promoting josh and Patrick to admins they won't abuse 

 

kissy jishy: aww thank 

 

frnk: I was going to be offended but your logic is solid 

 

frnk: who even are half these people 

 

petey pie: I think Patrick knows them 

 

typo: I was in your algebra honors class frank were in the same grade 

 

typo: I was at your table for like a whole quarter 

 

frnk: O SHIT R U THE QUIET KID WHO SHAVED HIS HEAD RANDOMLY HALF WAY THROUGH THE YEAR 

 

typo: yeah lol 

 

kissy jishy: I met you once too frank we have similar hair cuts and u noticed 

 

frnk: well now I just feel bad 

 

petey pie: great job frank 10/10 

 

frnk: eat shit 

 

frnk: bye 

 

typo: bye

 

kissy jishy: I'm leaving too 

 

typo: everyone's leaving rip

 

petey pie: get rekt scrub

 

typo: >:-(

 

candy: cane

 

joepromo: you waited for that didn't u 

 

candy: yep

 

petey pie: bye now

 

candy: bye

 

joepromo: bye

 

tricky tree: fuck I just got back 

GeeWee: shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a notif whore comment and kudos
> 
> Also Its gonna be more calm at first and then it'll get wyld ;-) 
> 
> Ugh I feel too scene anyway bye


	3. Can Pete throw a party? CLICKBATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have decided the ages 
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> the others  
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE 
> 
> For those not of America: oops 
> 
> basically they'd all be in secondary though 
> 
> fuck cities but I'm from California so it's takes place there by LA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am I creative? no. I'm trying with these names don't shoot
> 
> PATRICK: tricky tree  
> PETE: petey pie  
> BRENDON: brendank  
> MIKEYWAY: Milky Way  
> GERARD: GeeWee  
> FRANK: frnk  
> ANDY: Candy  
> JOE: joepromo  
> TYLER: typo  
> JOSH: kissy jishy
> 
> RAY: bottom dweller  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dillon months  
> SPENCER: cash money  
> RYAN: marshalls

GeeWay: can we talk about college

 

brendank: you're the only senior my biggest worry is still mac and cheese vs. nuggets

 

GeeWee: ah, youth

 

_GeeWee added the builder_

 

GeeWee: bobby boy let's talk about college 

 

the builder: no 

 

_the builder left the conversation_

 

 

GeeWee: rude 

 

brendank: you just got owned gee

 

brendank: also who are you?

 

GeeWee: your worst nightmare 

brendank: spoopy

petey pie: guys guy guys 

tricky tree: no pete 

petey pie: you don't even know what the thing is yet

tricky tree: still no 

petey pie: you don't control me 

tricky tree: ...

petey pie: I am sorry for my insolence 

brendank: lol 

petey pie: I wanna throw a party

tricky tree: normally I'd say no but I honestly have no reason to this time 

tricky tree: it is genuinely a not bad idea 

frnk: lets party 

GeeWee: can I bring alcohol 

typo: no one under 15 can drink it 

typo: I'm responsible sometimes 

petey pie: good rule 

petey pie: but who's gonna stay sober enough to enforce it ?

typo: shit 

tricky tree: I'm the designated Mom™ so I'll do it 

frnk: hella rad 

GeeWee: when is this gonna be 

petey pie: wait is today Tuesday 

typo: yeah 

petey pie: Friday night then 

tricky tree: I'm in 

GeeWee: yeet yeet 

frnk: cool 

brendank: can I come 

typo: that's y I said no alcohol 

brendank: :D 

brendank: can I invite my friends 

petey pie: the more the merrier 

GeeWee: aren't u friends with like Ryan Ross, Spencer Smith and Dallon Weekes? 

brendank: you guys know more about me than I know about myself 

Milky Way: I report to my superiors 

Milky Way: I may have mentioned u in stories we had a lot of classes together 

brendank: o 

joepromo: party on man 

candy: it's gonna be lit!1!1!!1!!!!

kissy jishy: no bad 

petey pie: I'm gonna go get shit for the party 

frnk: can we all leave without everyone saying bye for once

GeeWee: I don't see why not 

frnk: ok 

Milky Way: ....

Milky Way: bye 

frnk: !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> n o t i f w h o r e


	4. eat shit mikeyway (otherwise known as the chapter where petekey get flirty ;-))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't flirt and that means that neither can petey and mikey but I'm trying here
> 
> the nice aesthetic of no capitals is gone google docs cares about my grammar and syntax even if I don't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: tricky tree  
> PETE: petey pie  
> BRENDON: brendank  
> MIKEYWAY: Milky Way  
> GERARD: GeeWee  
> FRANK: frnk  
> ANDY: Candy  
> JOE: joepromo  
> TYLER: typo  
> JOSH: kissy jishy
> 
> RAY: bottom dweller  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dillon months  
> SPENCER: cash money  
> RYAN: marshalls

petey pie: i formally request, frank iero, to suck my dick

frnk: 

1) no 

2) that's not how commas work

petey pie: i might be just a little bit high 

GeeWee: actually fucking stab me in the heart

GeeWee: i walked in on mikeys “private time”

Frnk: LMAO DUMBASS 

Petey pie: was it big  

GeeWee: I DONT KNOW I DIDNT LOOK HES MY BROTHER

Milky Way: fuking gerard 

Milky Way: you asshole i was having a good time

Petey pie: were you watching porn? 

Milky Way: yeah it was p good

Petey pie: link me 

Milky Way:  [ pornhub.com/gaytwinks ](https://twitter.com/heiswatchin2)

Petey pie: brb

GeeWee: I DIDNT NEED THIS 

GeeWee: ESPECIALLY NOT FROM MY BROTHER P L E A S E

Brendank: no porn in my good christian neighborhood

Joepromo: …

Candy: …

Kissy jishy: …

Typo: …

Frnk: …

Tricky tree: no more sexual things i c k y =[

GeeWee: i agree with patrick =[

Frnk: =[

Typo: =[

Kissy jishy: =[

Candy: =[

Milky Way: =[

Joepromo: =[

petey pie: i leave to jerk off for one minute and you all become satanists 

Tricky tree: its just a face

Petey pie: a creepy cult like face

GeeWee: you would know

Frnk: o shit he went there

Petey pie: anyway 

Petey pie: mikey that was some good porn i formallt request your hand in marriage

GeeWee: YOU ARE NOT MARRYING MY BROTHER

Milky Way: how about you ask that again in 10 years and until then I’ll send u porn links

Petey pie: i accept 

Tricky tree: dont be surprised in 10 years when he actually does it again 

Joepromo: an elephant never forgets 

Petey pie: HEY

Typo: lol 

Milky Way: its k I’ll love u even if u r an elephant future husband

Petey pie: WIFEY

GeeWee: i do not APPROVE

Frnk: i ship it 

Kissy jishy: petekey 

Typo: otp 

Candy: love is in the air

Joepromo: i'm choking where's my oxygen

Typo: i thought that say oxi-clean for a second lol 

Kissy jishy: HI BILLY MAYES HERE

Frnk: lol

Tricky tree: this is a mess

Brendank: good porn mikey 

Frnk: … 

GeeWee: …

Typo: …

Kissy jishy: … 

Petey pie: …

Tricky tree: … 

Candy: … 

Joepromo: …

Petey pie: … 

Milky Way: … 

Brendank: what 

Frnk: … 

GeeWee: …

Typo: …

Kissy jishy: … 

Petey pie: …

Tricky tree: … 

Candy: … 

Joepromo: …

Petey pie: … 

Milky Way: … 

Brendank: what guys

 

 

Brendank: guys? 

 

 

Brendank: D:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos all over me senpai! 
> 
> what the fuck did I just type 
> 
> fun fact: I write the chapters over the course of the day and post them at night 
> 
> so that means at any point my page could unload and then I lose my whole chapter... it happened yesterday which is y the chp was so short :-)
> 
> I ACCIDENTALLY EXITED OUT GOOD THING I STARTED TYPING IN GOOGLE DOCS TODAY


	5. gender, sexuality, dating, flirting, and role call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is eventful...
> 
> HI SAM LOLOLOLOL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: tricky tree  
> PETE: petey pie  
> BRENDON: brendank  
> MIKEYWAY: Milky Way  
> GERARD: GeeWee  
> FRANK: frnk  
> ANDY: Candy  
> JOE: joepromo  
> TYLER: typo  
> JOSH: kissy jishy
> 
> RAY: bottom dweller  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dillon months  
> SPENCER: cash money  
> RYAN: marshalls
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE

_ 10:02 AM _

Petey pie: p a r t y d a y

Frnk: rad

Typo: sick

Kissy jishy: sick

Tricky tree: pete the party isnt for like 10 hours chill out

GeeWee: i mean is it really a party 

GeeWee: only like 15 people are coming

Petey pie: wait how many friends do we have 

Petey pie: ROLE CALL

GeeWee: here

Tricky tree: here

Frnk: here

Typo: here

Kissy jishy: here

Brendank: here

Candy: here

Joepromo: here

Milky Way: here

_ GeeWee added bottom dweller and the builder to the conversation _

GeeWee: petes doing party role call 

Bottom dweller: present 

The builder: hola

Brendank: wait 

_ Brendank added dillion months, cash money, and marshalls to the conversation _

Brendank: are you hoes coming to the party wentzy boy is throwing 

Dillion months: i mean it's not like i have anything better to do

Cash money: ok

Marshalls: high school party xD

Petey pie: marshalls can't come sorry

Marshalls: it was ironic

Petey pie: invite reinstated 

Tricky tree: so that's 14 plus pete,,, 15

GeeWee: I AM GOD

Petey pie: that's totally enough for a party 

Milky Way: gerard did you just count everyone's friends 

GeeWee: no i guessed

GeeWee: fuck off mike

Milky Way: how could you

Milky Way: to your own brother

GeeWee: like this 

GeeWee: fuck off mike

Milky Way: D:

Brendank: bullying

Typo: SEE SOMETHING

Kissy jishy: SAY SOMETHING

Tricky tree: you guys remind me of evil twins

Typo: that would be incestual 

Kissy jishy: YEP

Frnk: is this ur way of coming out 

Kissy jishy: yep

Typo: were flaming homos surprise

Brendank: not in my good christian neighborhood

Petey pie: mikey linked gay porn and you liked it bren

Brendank: so did you 

Tricky tree: y dont we just say preferences and pronouns,,, just in case

Frnk: your local gsa president, patrick stump

GeeWee: queer, they/him 

Frnk: polysexual and he/him

Joepromo: well if were doing this

Joepromo: queer, he/him

Marshalls: i dont want to be that guy but what exactly falls under the queer umbrella 

Dillon months: like bi curious or mostly gay but id bang a hot celeb 

GeeWee: i have never heard that explained that way 

Frnk: point for creativity 

Typo: im demisexual they/he

Kissy jishy: pan he/him

Brendank: pan he/him

Dillion months: bi he/him

Bottom dweller: poly he/him

Milky Way: bi he/him

Petey pie: bi he/him

Candy: mostly straight he/him

The builder: asexual he/him (im not sex repulsed btw you can talk about porn) 

Marshalls: ??? and he/him 

Cash money: androsexual he/him

Tricky tree: is that everyone? 

Petey  pie: you didn't go lol 

Tricky tree: oH

Tricky tree: gay, he/him

Frnk: i think we good now

Brendank: wow what a gay group 

Typo: hey gee

GeeWee: hey ty

Typo: we have the same pronouns

GeeWee: so we do

Typo: :D

GeeWee: … :D

Frnk: lol 

Joepromo: is anyone besides tyler and josh shackin up 

Marshalls: i kissed bren once

Brendank: and it sucked

Marshalls: :(

Dillion months: lmao

Milky Way: i've never kissed anyone no fair 

GeeWee: YOU WILL STAY A PURE VIRGIN FOREVER 

Milky Way: >:-(

Frnk: wtf

Petey pie: not if i can help it 

GeeWee: STAY AWAY WENTZ

Frnk: you're hot when your protective 

Joepromo: are you guys fucking or not 

GeeWee: NO I AM A PURE VIRGIN 

Frnk: not if i can help it 

Kissy jishy: i ship it

Typo: ferard

Petey pie: 10/10

GeeWee: next thing i know you guys will be giving him a dowry and arranging our wedding jfc

Brendank: how many sheep are you worth gerard

GeeWee: fuck off

Frnk: date me gee

GeeWee: buy me pizza and flowers and you have yourself a deal frankie

Frnk: wait really

GeeWee: yep 

GeeWee: pick me up tomorrow at 6 sharp 

Frnk: FUCK YEAH

Milky Way: as the brother i may ship you two but if you hurt him i will string you up on the school flag pole by your fucking balls got it? 

Frnk: yes 

Petey pie: youre hot and scary at the same time <3 u wifey

Milky Way: you too pete

Petey pie: what

Milky Way: 6 sharp tomorrow

Petey pie: yessir

Brendank: OTP OVERLOAD

Brendank: SHIPS ARE SAILING

Brendank: I GOTTA ZAYN BEFORE I EXPLODE

Brendank: BYE

Tricky tree: bye

Tricky tree: im gonna die alone

* * *

 

_ 6:42 PM _

Joepromo: hey patty

Tricky tree: dont call me patty

Joepromo: can i come pre-game at your house

Tricky tree: sigh

Joepromo: pleaseeeee

Tricky tree: fineeee

Joepromo: ok good thing bc im already here

Tricky tree: the doors unlocked

Joepromo: k

Brendank: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Petey pie: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Brendank: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Petey pie: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Frnk: see you fuckers in an hour

Brendank: we had a streak

Petey pie: :(

* * *

 

_ 10: 34 PM _

Tricky tree: GUYS JOE JUST FUCKING KISSED ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> c l i f f h a n g e r 
> 
> :)


	6. what the fuck, joe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what the fuck, joe - companion piece to: thanks, pete!
> 
> (pete shows his honorary patricks brother status and gets protective about joe, and Gerard finally approves)
> 
> SAM U SHITBAG JK ily please give me feedback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i clever? i feel clever

_ 10:32 AM _

Petey pie: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK

Petey pie: TROHMAN SOBER THE FUCK UP RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Petey pie: YOU HAVE HALF AN HOUR BEFORE I DRAG MY HUNGOVER ASS TO YOUR HOUSE FOR AN EXPLANATION 

Petey pie:  IM HUNGOVER, ANGRY AND READY TO BEAT YOUR ASS JOSEPH

Tricky tree: pete please calm down

Petey pie: TRICK ARE YOU OKAY

Petey pie: HE WAS DRUNK DID HE DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN KISS YOU

Petey pie: I SWEAR IF HE FUCKING HURT YOU

Tricky tree: i'm fine. Just a little confused.

Tricky tree: being drunk just lowers inhibitions.. So joe wanted to kiss me but normally wouldn't have and idk how i feel about that. 

Petey pie: can i call you? I think u need to talk it out 

Tricky tree: yeah okay 

Tricky tree: thanks, pete.. 

 

Frnk: what the fuck joe

GeeWee: i didn't expect this, honestly 

Brendank: so patty and joe, huh? 

Milky Way: i saw it 

Frnk: spill 

Milky Way: joes fucking head over heels with patrick

GeeWee: !!!

 

Milky Way: i was in the bathroom and they were in the hall… 

*FLASHBACK*

“PATTYCAKES!” Drunk Joe slurred as he stumbled down the hall into an exasperated Patrick’s arms. 

“Yes, Joe?” Patrick sighed, resigned to taking care of his drunk friend. 

Joe giggled drunkenly, the sound reminiscent of a toddler. 

“I love you patty!” 

He seemed to suddenly sober as he stood up straight and looked into Patrick’s eyes. His hand lifted to caress his cheek, and in a quiet voice, he whispered, “You're so beautiful.” 

Patrick seemed taken aback by this out of the blue comment. “What?”

Joe leaned in closer, the hand not on Patrick’s face wrapped around his waist, coming to a rest on his lower back in a respectable position.

“You’re beautiful…” and then Joe closed in the distance, touching their lips together softly. Patrick seemed frozen in time, but not weirded out by the kiss, and had it lasted any longer, he probably would have kissed back. 

Joe had pulled back, off-put by the lack of response, and walked sullenly down the hallway.

Patrick stood frozen in place, and pulled a hand up to touch his lips, remembering Joe’s against them moments earlier. Slumping against the wall, he pulled out his phone to deliver the text that changed everything. 

*FLASHBACKEND*

 

GeeWee: did you really just narrate your own flashback 

Frnk: what the fuck that's better than some books

Milky Way: thank you frank 

Brendank: mikey we should collab on a fanfic

Milky Way: r u any good at smut bc as poetic as i am i can't write a sex scene to save a life

Brendank: you guessed it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Milky Way: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Frnk: not you too 

GeeWee: frankie i'm hungover come make me breakfast

Frnk: what about your parents

GeeWee: they went camping and won't be back until monday 

Milky Way: we had to suck up so much before they would let us stay

GeeWee: but it's worth it 4 days no parents = more coffee

Frnk: i am coming over and making you a healthy well rounded breakfast gee 

Milky Way: make some for me

GeeWee: actually mike split so me n frank can have ‘alone time’

Milky Way: I DIDNT NEED THIS 

Milky Way: I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO

Petey pie: come chill with me

Petey pie: i have a really big…….. Tv 

GeeWee: DO NOT DEFILE MY BROTHER

Milky Way: i could say the same thing to frank 

GeeWee: you cannot have sex u r 14

Milky Way: im not gonna fuck him 

Milky Way: but there's a lot of other things to do ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Petey pie: ;-)

GeeWee: i will fuck you up if you do anything to him that he doesnt want. You got that Wentz? 

Petey pie: yessir

Petey pie: I'll come pick you up in a minute

Frnk: wait get me and drop me off 

Petey pie: only bc that will please gerard 

GeeWee: i feel like a queen 

Milky Way: a drag queen

GeeWee: fuck u

Milky Way: :-)

 

Tricky tree: mikey you perv

Milky Way: srry trick 

Petey pie: that was some good writing babe

Brendank: nicknames, its getting serious

Milky Way: lol 

Petey pie: i'm leaving now

Frnk:  my address is 234 E 2nd street 

GeeWee: mine is 485 W 6th 

Petey pie: frank that's like 4 blocks you could have walked

Frnk: i could have but you're already almost here aren't you?

Petey pie: just get in the car bitch 

Milky Way: lol

Tricky tree: joe isn't answering my messages im worried

Petey pie: he was pretty fucked up last night he might be rlly hungover, asleep or dead lol

Tricky tree: yOu aRe nOt hElPiNg

Candy: joe is out like a fucking log guys

Candy: he’s at my house,,, patrick wanna come over? 

Tricky tree: yeah i'll be over in a few me n joe need to talk 

Brendank: patrick is the mom friend but he’s also the group baby its really fucking cuute

 

Joepromo: hey stay away

Joepromo: hey trick lets talk 

Tricky tree: yeah

Tricky tree: bye guys

Joepromo: also @mikey, i knew i felt someone watching me

Joepromo: adios 

Milky Way: lol 

Milky Way: pete and frank r here bye gee

GeeWee: don't do anything you don't want to and remember that thing 

Milky Way: sure gee

Milky Way: im done with this mess of a chat byee

Brendank: im staying i want the first news on patroh

Milky Way: pete says that's creative but he’s driving so he can’t talk 

Milky Way: bye

Brendank: farewell

 

* * *

 

_ 3:23 PM _

Joepromo: i'm pregnant and it's Patrick's 

Tricky tree: joE

Joepromo: be my baby daddy pat

Tricky tree: joseph trohman

Petey pie: please no way patrick tops have u seen that man

Tricky tree: JOE WAS TRYING TO SAY THAT WERE TOGETHER NOW

Petey pie: joe. Buddy. Pal. if you harm a hair on tricks head, i will castrate you, and tell your mother what you have done, 

Joepromo: i won't i swear 

Petey pie: :-)

Milky Way: peter wentz get the fuck back in here-

GeeWee: i'm afraid to ask but what did you guys do 

Milky Way: we ate shitty toaster waffles and then napped for a bit 

Milky Way: pete is SUPPOSED to be ordering take out

Petey pie: mikey decided on a movie date since he’s already here

Frnk: gee that reminds me i gotta go get ready bc i'm still taking u out 

GeeWee: don't be late 

Frnk: ofc not baby 

Brendank: this is cute as fuck but also reminds me of how i am going to die alone

Petey pie: everyone dies alone, when it comes down to it 

Milky Way: pete fucking wentz

Petey pie: gotta blast 

Joepromo: me n patrick are having a movie night as our first date today 

Joepromo: its a triple date!!!

Tricky tree: okay so you have a lot of disney movies are we going to talk about this

Joepromo: uhhh bye

Brendank: im gonna eat an entire gallon of ice cream and cry anyone up for that

 

Brendank: no one?

 

Brendank: thought so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the only thing in the world i am proud to have made


	7. the only one where Patrick doesn't bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: pattywhack  
> PETE: peet wents  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: mway  
> GERARD: gway  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: hoe-seph  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish
> 
> RAY: bottom dweller  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dillon months  
> SPENCER: cash money  
> RYAN: marshalls//ryro 
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patrick doesn't bottom and I love The Princess Bride
> 
> hi ho hi ho hello sam there u go

6:32 am

_tricky tree changed their name to pattywhack_

  
_petey pie changed their name to peet wents_

  
brendank: I didn't mute the chat why do I get notifications when you change ur name

  
brendank: and why are you awake so early

  
pattywhack: I stayed at petes

  
peet wents: I never sleep

  
pattywhack: it was a mistake

  
brendank: well fuck you guys I'm going back to sleep

  
pattywhack: I'm gonna nap pete entertain ur damn self

  
peet wents: feisty

 

12:09 pm

  
_GeeWee changed their name to gway_

  
_frnk changed their name to fronk_

  
_brendank changed their name to beeb_

  
_kissy jishy changed their name to jish_

  
typo: the legacy is gone

  
_typo changed their name to tyty_

  
_candy changed their name to veegen_

  
_joepromo changed their name to IM FUCKING PATRICK STUMP_

  
pattywhack: no joe

  
IM FUCKING PATRICK STUMP: why nottttt

  
pattywhack: no.

  
IM FUCKING PATRICK STUMP: fineeee

  
_IM FUCKING PATRICK STUMP changed their name to hoe-seph_

  
hoe-seph: is this acceptable ?

  
pattywhack: yes

  
peet wents: u r so whipped mate

  
_Milky Way changed the conversation name to Pete Wentz is a Hypocrite_

  
_Milky Way changed their name to mway_

  
mway: I'm just gonna leave this here

  
beeb: today was orientation I didn't see u mike

  
mway: I saw u and walked the other way lol

  
beeb:  >:-(

  
peet wents: the _other_ _way_

  
gway: how do you do italics in text ???

  
peet wents: I'm not gonna tell u

  
gway:  >:-(

  
fronk: >:-(

  
beeb: :D

  
mway: pete no

  
peet wents: of course, your highness

  
fronk: why don't u treat me like that gee

  
gway: i bottom

  
gway: I'm the princess fuck you frank

  
tyty: bottoms unite

  
gway: here here

  
mway: fuck yeah labor union

  
pattywhack: id join but I'm a switch

  
hoe-seph: I'm not putting ur dick up my ass

  
pattywhack: I'm not a solid bottom joe

  
gway: relationship troubles

  
hoe-seph: come convince me then ... ;-)

  
pattywhack: bye pete

  
peet wents: go get ur man <3

  
beeb: idk what I am I am an innocent freshman

  
marshalls: L I E S

  
marshalls: that's why we didn't work out

  
marshalls: you told me to my face “two bottoms don't make a top”

  
gway: LMAO

  
fronk: omfg that's golden

  
peet wents: I'm fucking dead bren no way

  
beeb: FUCK U RYAN I TOLD U NOT TO TELL ANYONE

  
marshalls: I don't tolerate liars

  
tyty: IDC about this guys join our bottom club

  
jish: cuties fighting the system

  
tyty: fuck off josh u ain't no bottom

  
gway: come on bottoms let's go watch the princess bride

  
mway: FUCK YEAH SON

  
tyty: AS YOU WISH

  
gway: FARM BOY

  
beeb: can I come

  
marshalls: omg westley my dad

  
gway: fuck yeah bottoms movie club

  
mway: yall tops can fuck off we're going to have a lit time watching the princess bride

  
mway: I set up gee go get snacks and also pick up my fellow freshies

  
gway: you can't call them that u r one of them

  
mway: take back the slur fuck u

  
jish: don't tell me to fuck off that's mean >:-(

  
tyty: srry babe but PRINCESS BRIDE

  
beeb: INCONCEIVABLE

  
marshalls: okay I'm slow but I just noticed everyone changed their names I'm behind

  
_marshalls changed their name to ryro_

  
ryro: I feel better

  
beeb: dumbass

  
ryro: stfu

  
veegen: so I've been lurking

  
peet wents: Andy my man !

  
veegen: as a straight I have to top and I feel left out

  
peet wents: u can join the tops club I just made

  
jish: what r we even gonna do

  
peet wents: idk I have a fire pit

  
veegen: marshmallows!!!!!

  
peet wents: and after the movie is over y'all can come here and eat smores with us

  
tyty: DEAL

  
beeb: I'm in so hard I almost feel like a top

  
marshalls: lol I'll have to skip out that's too much socializing for me

  
beeb:  >:-(

  
marshalls: srry B

  
beeb: Gerard is in but he cannot text he is driving

  
fronk: fuck yeah smores

  
mway: I'll go

  
peet wents: yeet yeet

  
fronk: I'll bring over marshmallows I'm omw

  
jish: DONT TEXT AND DRIVE

  
fronk: I'm walking I can't use the car dad said no

  
peet wents: ha peasant

  
hoe-seph: so Patrick is a switch

  
pattywhack: :-)

  
hoe-seph: can we come to the s'mores thing

  
pattywhack: I love smores omf

  
peet wents: yeah yeah whatever

  
peet wents: but someone has to bring chocolate and graham crackers

  
fronk: like literally at the store

  
peet wents: I'll pay u back

  
pattywhack: Pete me n joe r here open ur stupid door

  
peet wents: I'll have u know my door is very intelligent

  
beeb: lol

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this whole thing was such a fucking hassle I had to go back and space every fucking line bc I wrote this on my phone and ughhhh 
> 
> I should update a lot more quickly :-)


	8. talent, existentialism and incest (purely fictional, i assure you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan writes, brendon plays and Patrick sings (a band trio you never though you'd see)
> 
> HAPPY FUCKING MARCH 22ND

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: pattywhack  
> PETE: peet wents  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: mway  
> GERARD: gway  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: hoe-seph  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish
> 
> RAY: bottom dweller  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dillon months  
> SPENCER: cash money  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHMORE

_ 7:43 pm _

Beeb: SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW I AM NOT PREPARED

Beeb: H I G H S C H O O L

Beeb: IM STILL A KID

Mway: SAME 

Mway: ALL GEES FRIENDS COME OVER SO IM USED TO HIGH SCHOOLERS BUT NOW IM GOING IM NOT READY

Beeb: HAVING HIGHSCHOOL FRIENDS AND GOING TO HIGHSCHOOL ARE SO DIFFERENT

Mway: FUCK I DON'T WANNA GO 

Gway: chill guys

Gway: there's a lot of hype but it's really just a normal school 

Fronk: just don't get lost on ur first day 

Gway: yeah

Ryro: hi i'm here for freshman freakout 

Beeb: fuck my ass i don't wanna go to class

Mway: clever 

Gway: mike where tf are you 

Gway: i'm trying to be a nice brother and bring you milk and cookies but i can't find you 

Beeb: awww brotherly love

Ryro: i thought of incest so 

Mway: EW

Gway: EW

Fronnk: that’d be hot tbh 

Mway: EW

Gway: EW

Mway: also i'm in the upstairs closet 

Pattywhack: I'm watching you two from the closet

Wishing to be the friction in your jeans

Peet wents: isn't that from that thing you wrote

Pattywhack: yeah

Ryro: that good lyric

Ryro: we should write a song together pat

Pattywhack: lets see what u got then 

Beeb:

I chime in

Haven't you ever heard of closing a goddamn door?

No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality

Ryro: i wrote that btw

Beeb: i saved it bc it's good and i wanted to see what chords for piano / guitar would sound good

Beeb: i liked Am , Dm , G , Am , Dm , F , G

Pattywhack: wow for people so young you are sure talented 

Peet wents: patrick you are the most talented person i know and i know myself

Pattywhack: ... thanks, pete. 

Peet wents: :-)

Beeb: pete is iconic

Mway: anyway 

Gway: pete do not even make that joke 

Mway: i sware- 

Peet wents: i won’t i won’t 

Mway: :-)

Beeb: so how about that inevitability of death huh 

Ryro: now is not the time for an existential crisis

Beeb: its either about death or growing up but that leads to death and omg im falling down the rabbit hole 

Peet wents: no do not get into this 

Pattywhack: actually die 

Beeb: okay but i am so unprepared for high school do you even know

Peet wents; honestly bren its not that bad we went through the same thing last year

Pattywhack: no one actually gets bullied and cliches dont exist

Mway: gee brought me milk and cookies 

Gway: i said i would

Beeb: AWW PRECIOUS AND NOT INCESTUAL

Ryro: this is why im good at smut brendon

Mway: DONT YOU FUCKING DARE   
Gway: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

Fronk: that’d be hot tbh

Mway:  ISWEAR TO FUCKING CHRIST I WILL CUT OFF YOUR DICK WITH A RUSTY SPOON

Gway: AND ILL FEED IT TO YOU AFTER STICKING IT IN A BLENDER

Beeb: brother power! Incest is bad team!

Peet wents: brendon you're mormon

Tyty: FUCKING ROASTED

Fronk: i'm fucking dead and you're fucking your cousin

Beeb: FUCK OFF

Bottom dweller: haha hey guys what's good

Peet wents: not incest, apparently 

Pattywhack: can we like, not talk about this

Peet wents: oh shit im sorry patrick

Gway: i smell a back story

Mway: you dont have to say anything patrick 

Fronk: ryan can i commission a fic 

Ryro: pm me these guys r done lol

Pattywhack: ok now let's change the subject

Pattywhack: how about that school 

Beeb: DO NOT REMIND ME 

Beeb: ugh i have to take the bus

Ryro: my mom could drive u

Beeb:  INDEPENDENCE

Ryro: okay chill

Beeb: im gonna go eat ice cream until i cry myself to sleep

Beeb: bye y'all 

Ryro: bye

Peet wents: that sounds like a good idea

Pattywhack: im about to leave wait outside for me

Fronk: ???

Peet wents: me n pat have a sleepover the day before school starts and we go in together 

Pattywhack: since 4th grade

Fronk: wowza

Gway: me n mike build a pillow fort and watch disney 

Fronk: i just like,.. Exist 

Fronk; have fun with ur “traditions” 

Gway: we will bye

Mway: bye

 

*PRIVATE CHAT BETWEEN FRANK AND RYAN* 

Fronk: about that commission

Ryro: yeah? 

Fronk: def waycest pls

Ryro: kinks? 

Fronk: facefucking and barebacking 

Fronk: make it hot and dirty

Ryro: gee should watch out

Fronk: ;-)

 


	9. school makes joe scream more than patrick ;-)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> private school kids just rub me the wrong way man 
> 
> IM NOT OKAY I PROMISE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: pattywhack  
> PETE: peet wents  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: mway  
> GERARD: gway  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: hoe-seph  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish
> 
> RAY: bottom dweller/froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dillon months  
> SPENCER: cash money  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

_ 6:03 am _

Ryro: thanks frank 

Ryro: bc of ur stupid commission i was up late and now im stupid tried on the first day of school

Fronk: sorry man ill pay for your lunch for a week

Ryro: fuck yeah

_ Bottom dweller changed their name to Froyo _

Fronk: ray my man 

Froyo: i do not want to be awake right now

Beeb: ive been up since 5 because nerves :-)))

Froyo: now that i have a reason to procrastinate ill be here much more often 

Fronk: geez bren drink some coffee or something 

Gway: im bringing evryone coffee

Gway: im hoarding it in many thermoses and bringing styrofoam cups

Mway: im gonna help serve it i think we’ll be appreciated

Fronk: FUKC YES I LOVE THE WAYS

Froyo: hella cool thanks guys

Beeb: my mom wont let me drink coffee 

Ryro: break a rule bren

Ryro: drink the devils liquid

Mway: isnt that weed

Gway: you cant drink weed

Fronk: you would know

Tyty: guys its too early 

Jish: if the Ways r bringing coffee me n ty got breakfast 

Tyty: DONUTS 

Fronk: I HAVE NEVER WANTED SCHOOL MORE

Gway: im leaving at 7 to get a good spot ill save u one next to me

Tyty: fuck yeah ily gee

Beeb: its 6:30 incase anyone is still in bed 

Ryro: FUCK

Froyo: shitttt

Gway: me n mike have been up since 5 making coffee 

Mway: i sacrificed so much for this

Fronk: fuckin love y’all

Jish: ty where r u i cant get donuts without you 

Jish: not because of any sentiment but because i cant drive

Tyty: here, asshole. 

Jish: <3

Fronk: bren ur takin the bus right? 

Beeb: yeah y

Fronk: route?

Beeb: F 

Fronk: yooo we have the same bus

Beeb: aye

Fronk: im leaving to walk now you should too 

Beeb: k

Beeb: frank actually lives on my street we have the same bus stop

Fronk: lmfao

Gway: coffees loaded 

Mway: we’re ready

  
Fronk: omw

  
Pattywhack: freshies come find us 

  
Peet wents: yeah ur sitting with us we got a table secured for our high school career 

  
Peet wents: you are now our sole heirs

  
Pattywhack: continue the legacy  

  
Beeb: fu k yeah i didnt wanna try to find somewhere to sit

  
Dillon months: welcome back 

  
Dillon months: i, as sophomore class president, welcome the new freshies to the school 

  
Ryro: lmao i have math with u dummy

  
Dillon months: i, as sophomore class president, kindly request that you fuck off

  
Pattywhack: dallon get ur shit and come save the table for us im hungry 

Jish: me n ty have the donuts on our way

Froyo: cool

Fronk: rad

Ryro: can i say it 

Peet wents: HIGHSCHOOL HERE WE COME

Ryro: that's my line fuck u pete

Pattywhack: i hope we have classes together why didnt we check earlier

_ 12:02 pm _

Ryro: lunch time

Peet wents: patricks mom is the lunch lady i got the hook ups guys

Pattywhack: no i do youre just a moocher

Peet wents: same thing

Beeb: i didnt get lost and i wasnt late i count that as a win

Fronk: theres still a few more classes :-)

Gway: hey frank wanna make out behind a building somewhere

Fronk: uhh fuck yes

Gway: im at Q block

Fronk: omw

Pattywhack: freshies come find us 

Peet wents: yeah ur sitting with us we got a table secured for our high school career 

Peet wents: you are now our sole heirs

Pattywhack: continue the legacy  

Beeb: fu k yeah i didnt wanna try to find somewhere to sit

Dillon months: welcome back 

Dillon months: i, as sophomore class president, welcome the new freshies to the school 

Ryro: lmao i have math with u dummy

Dillon months: i, as sophomore class president, kindly request that you fuck off

Pattywhack: dallon get ur shit and come save the table for us im hungry 

Dillon months: yes mother

Peet wents: mama patrick

Pattywhack: and dont you forget it 

Hoe-seph: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Veegen: our stupid private school asses wanna fuckin die

Hoe-seph: i think i can convince my mom to transfer me so just you wait guys 

Veegen: if joe gets to go ill get to go 

Hoe-seph: WE WILL SEE YOU WE PROMISE   
Veegen: pinky promise

Pattywhack: one of us

Peet wents: join us at the terrible place called public school 

Beeb: i went to private school for elementary 

Peet wents: as a rebel i have an involuntary and automatic dislike for private school kids sorry guys

Pattywhack: these private school kids bike past my house with their ironed shirts and leather messenger bags

Peet wents: fucking pricks

Pattywhack: GUYS MY MOM GOT US FULL SIZED RICE KRISPY TREATS

Peet wents: GOTTA BLAST 

Ryro: FUCK YES

Beeb: LOL BYE PRIVATE SCHOOL FUCKERS

Veegen: fuck our healthy menus 

Hoe-seph: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MARCH 22ND DESERVESS A DOUBLE UPDATE


	10. witching hour bants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shut your fuck up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: pattywhack  
> PETE: peet wents  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: mway   
> GERARD: gway   
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: hoe-seph  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish
> 
> RAY: bottom dweller/froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dillon months  
> SPENCER: cash money  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

  
beeb: high school is hard :-(

gway: and ur only a FRESHMAN

beeb: I can suffer just as much

ryro: don't invalidate his pain

tyty: oh shit shots fired

jish: guys it's like 2 am on a friday now is not the time for a mental break

beeb: WHEN IS THE TIME THEN HUH JOSHUA

jish: fuck u got me there

  
peet wents: the first football game is today

pattywhack: us band kids gotta perform

beeb: lol nerd

beeb: choir kids rule though fuck you

tyty: h*ck yeah

hoe-seph: when you don't have extracurriculars bc ur shitty private school is academics based

froyo: ha

pattywhack: band is better than choir I don't see u getting any PE credits

fronk: don't u play trumpet

pattywhack: sometimes I play percussion with josh

mway: shut your fuck up all of you

mway: Hannibal is my fucking dad

gway: isn't our dad called Donald or some shit

mway: you don't know dad's name? lol

peet wents: dumbass

  
ryro: anyway frank I've been working on your commission

fronk: hella rad

froyo: you walked right out of the 80's didn't you

fronk: I'm more 90's classic goth

peet wents: early 2000's emo

pattywhack: we know.

peet wents: you got that grunge vibe patty

peet wents: it's the trucker hats even if u wear fedoras more now

ryro: me and my hippie ass right out the sixties

peet wents: fuck u and ur scarves

veegen: I honestly hate all of you so much none of you make any sense

beeb: even my ADHD ass can't fucking keep up

froyo: shots fired

cash money: everyone go fuck yourselves why are you awake at 3 am on a Friday

ryro: why are you?

froyo: shots fired

cash money: your fugly ass, and your annoying messages woke me from my beauty sleep !

froyo: shots fired

ryro: no amount of beauty sleep can fix your face

froyo: shots fired

mway: shut the FUCK up ray ohmygod

gway: everyone go to fucking sleep

fronk: no.

gway: frank, do not test me.

fronk: goodnight everyone love u gee

ryro: nothing good happens after midnight

beeb: ITS WITCHING HOUR SATAN STAY AWAY

gway: I'm really not in the mood to lecture u on satanism vs. wiccanism so can everyone just S L E E P

mway: I second that motion

beeb: I'm Mormon both r sins

ryro: shut your fuck up Brendon

gway: ITS SLEEP TIME NOW

beeb: you don't control me

gway: I swear to god do not test me you scene ass emo BITCH

gway: shut your stupid eyes and sleep and hope you don't wake up because I'm waiting for you on the other side of consciousness

ryro: lol night

beeb: GOODNIGHT

pattywhack: teach me ur ways???

gway: tomorrow. go to fucking sleep

peet wents: k.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love me y'all I updated


	11. weeds and alcohols

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to autobottsrolloutx for their comment "this IS GOOD I hope I found a story that the author updates often in ;) have a gr8 gay" 
> 
> it motivated me to update so yes spam commenting works on me sometimes I forget humanity exists I haven't left my house in 3 weeks 
> 
> I would also like to remind yall that this is currently a 49 page google doc wtf????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: pattywhack  
> PETE: peet wents  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: mway  
> GERARD: gway  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: hoe-seph  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish
> 
> RAY: bottom dweller/froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dillon months  
> SPENCER: cash money  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

Beeb: so u guys r old and ‘cool’ and shit right  
   
Beeb: with the weeds and alcohols  
   
Fronk: yea y  
   
Beeb: i want to,,,, expand my horizons  
   
Fronk: i havee to consult the Moms™  
   
Fronk: patrick, dallon?  
   
Pattywhack: is it weird i wanna say no to alcohol but okay to weed?  
   
Dillion months changed their name to Mom2  
   
Mom2: kinda same, alcohol fucks up but weed fucks u up, nicer?  
   
Pattywhack changed their name to Mom1  
   
Mom1: so, verdict is no booze but a little weed  
   
Beeb: i have permission!!!! :D  
   
Mom1: who's gonna supervise?  
   
Mom2: i'll do it. I got some good stuff the other day, give the man a good first time ;)  
   
Beeb: thank u!!!!!1!!!!1  
   
Ryro: what about me??/??????  
   
Cash money changed their name to Spence  
   
Spence: i volunteer, ry  
   
Ryro: initiation  
   
Peet wents: ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US  
   
Mom1: pete, no  
   
Peet wents: wait  
   
Peet wents changed their name to Daddy  
   
Daddy: ayeee  
   
Mom1: i object but recognize that i brought this upon myself.  
   
Mway: im hurt-  
   
Daddy changed their name to Mikey’s Bitch  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: i apologize, mi amor.  
   
Mway: much better  
   
Gway: this is unfair my freshman year was nothing like this  
Gway: i was lonely and sad  
   
Mway: u were still in ur Basemen Years, i have my shit together  
   
Fronk: im glad tho bc i can be ur BAE now  
   
Gway: ppl stopped using that soo long ago u know that right  
   
Mway: if gee knows, everyone should know  
   
Gway: :-(  
   
Mway: ITS TRUE  
   
Fronk: #brotherbants  
   
Mway: that's dead too now  
   
Ryro: THAT REMINDS ME FRANK THE COMISSion  
   
Fronk: hell YEAGH  
   
Gway: why  
   
Mway: g control ur bf  
   
Gway: i would if i could  
   
Fronk: i wont make anyone read it its just for me  
   
Mway: i wanna read it tbh  
   
Gway: how good r u, ross?  
   
Ryro: pretty fucking okay  
   
Mway: lol  
   
Mom1: i dont condone  
   
Mom2: incest is bad  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: id read it tbh  
   
Mom1: bad children  
   
Mom2: listen to ur mothers  
   
Beeb: tbh this is even gayer bc now it sounds like this giant group of queers has lesbian moms  
   
Mikey’s Bitch named the conversation Homos™  
   
Mom2: hey bren when u wanna get stoned  
   
Beeb: friday? Sleepover?  
   
Mom2: okay  
   
Beeb: ily  
   
Mom2: ily2  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: OTP  
   
Mway: true tho  
   
Gway: i ship it  
   
Fronk: brallon  
   
Beeb: no omg  
   
Mom2: okay.  
   
Mom1: holy shit i know whats happening here  
   
Mikey’s Bitch removed Mom2, beeb  
   
Mom1: dallon has a big ol’ crush on bren lol  
   
Mway: OTP  
   
Gway: OTP  
   
Fronk: OTP  
   
Mikey’s Bitch added beeb, Mom2  
   
Mom2 changed their name to Dalpal  
   
Mom1 changed their name to Mom  
   
Hoe-seph changed their name to Dad  
   
Mom: y  
   
Dad: bc  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: OTP’s  
   
Mway changed their name to Mikey  
   
Gway: hurt  
   
Gway changed their name to Geesus  
   
Fronk changed their name to Iero  
   
Mikey: eye-ear-oh  
   
Iero: yeppers peppers  
   
Geesus: Frank Way? Gerard Iero?  
   
Mikey: chill yall arent getting married  
   
Iero: yet ;)  
   
Tyty: you play mario kart for ONE MINUTE  
   
Jish: its been like 7 hours???  
   
Tyty: wait really  
   
Jish: yes  
   
Tyty: FUCK  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: im trying to find a way to meme this chat  
   
Mikey: no  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: you cant keep me from the memes  
   
Geesus: mikey or the memes?  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: ...memes  
   
Mikey: cant blame u tbh memes r life  
   
   
Beeb: wtf y was i deleted then added  
   
Dalpal: same  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: my phone glitched  
   
Mom: pete u need a new phone  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: FUCK OFF IT HAS CHARACTER  
   
Dad: u have a beat ass 5 kill it its not like u cant afford it  
Mom: even i have a 6  
   
Veegen: *has an android*  
   
Beeb: hISS  
   
Dad: me andy and pete r going phone shopping tomorrow no complaints  
   
Mom: its not bc the android but its grossly out of date  
   
Veegen: i have no $$$  
   
Mom: pete does  
   
Tyty: pete be my sugar daddy  
   
Jish: HEY  
   
Mikey: what  
   
Beeb: ,,,anyway  
   
Ryro: GUys im so HIgh  
   
Spence: just ryan  
   
Ryro: r e l a x b u d  
   
Spence: brb he’s trying to eatt a cup  
   
Beeb: wtf ryan  
   
Dalpal: spencer prefers THC oil which fucks u up REAL hard  
   
Beeb: o  
   
Ryro: hehehehehehehehehhehehuehueheuheuheuehuehuehueh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get high responsibly, kids
> 
> follow me on twitter @cordiallester
> 
> also I have to write the waycest smut now yay me


	12. memes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> again to autobotsrolloutx or blake as I now know. best pals <3
> 
> my penname is now kurt thanks blake I love my new name
> 
> \- kurt
> 
> ps THE DOC HAS 60 PAGES THANKS TO THE LAST CHAPTER AND ALL THE CHAPTERS ARENT EVEN ON THERE BC IM LAZY SOMETIMES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: mom  
> PETE: Mikey's Bitch  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: Mikey  
> GERARD: Geesus  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: Dad  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish
> 
> RAY: froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dalpal  
> SPENCER: spence  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

Mikey’s Bitch:  self care is breaking into NASA and launching yourself into the fucking Void  
   
Mom: are you okay pete  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: self care is fucking killing yourself   
   
Mikey: pete wtf  
   
Veegen: self care is launching yourself from a cannon  
   
Dad: i love the self care meme  
   
Geesus: none of these things are even remotely self care  
   
Fronk: that's the point gee  
   
Mikey: self care is meme education instead of sleep  
   
Geesus: NONE OF THIS IS SELF CARE  
   
Fronk: tis a fine line between memes and reality  
   
Geesus: i hate every single person here including myself  
   
Geesus: i'd ask what the fuck you’re on but i already know  
   
Mikey: im still innocent and pure no drugs for me  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: not for LONG  
   
Geesus: STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHER  
   
Fronk: jesus had a brother called james who was also killed by the romans  
   
Mikey: wtf that's my middle name  
   
Dad: ILLUMINATI  
   
Mom: is that true?  
   
Fronk: i think so, i saw it in a crash course  
   
Dad: my mind is blown even tho im jewish  
   
Fronk: ok  
   
Dad: EDUCATE  YOURSELF  
   
Geesus: anyway i just ate an entire hershey bar im satisfied but thirsty  
   
Mom: can we use james instead of jesus now as a curse  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: JAMES CHRIST  
   
Mikey: sounds like white washed religion  
   
Geesus: it was in the middle east yet people portray jesus as white, like, uhhh no? Lol fuck off jessica  
   
Fronk: what did jessica do to you  
   
Geesus: she was just a little BITCH  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: remember allison?   
   
Dad: yeah ew  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: i can't tell if this was a dream or not but i swear to god i have the clearest memory of calling her fat and then her falling off the monkey bars and breaking her arm?   
   
Mom: i remember u told me that lol  
   
Fronk: WHACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN  
   
Geesus: i thought i forbid u from watching that  
   
Fronk: maybe but,, youre not here  
   
Beeb: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
   
Dalpal: u okay mate  
   
Beeb: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
   
Dalpal: he seems to be struggling with coping from coming down from his high lol  
   
Ryro: god noob  
   
Spence: YOU LITERALLY TRIED TO EAT A PLASTIC CUP  
   
Ryro: THERE WERE COOKIES ON IT FUCK YOU  
   
Spence: ITS MY COOKIE CUP YOU BITCH  
   
Ryro: WHY DO YOU HAVE A DESIGNATED CUP FOR THAT  
   
Spence: I LIKE BEING ORGANIZED  
   
Ryro: WHY ARE WE SHOUTING  
   
Spence: IDK  
   
Beeb: I LOUD TOO HAHHA LOOK AT ME IM FITTING IN  
   
Tyty: WHY ARE WE BEING LOUD?   
   
Geesus: wtf  
   
Jish: CAPS LOCK FOR DAYSSSSS  
   
Fronk: RAD  
   
Geesus: sugar high elementary kids,,,,   
   
Dalpal: uhhhhh,,,,  
   
Beeb: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
   
Veegen: what happened to order   
   
Spence: fuck the order   
   
Ryro: tbh^  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: im screaming i can meme this thank u  
   
Geesus: i s2g if i see this in my feed ever i will slit ur throat   
   
Fronk: ur hot when ur violent  
   
Mikey: NO MY EYES  
   
Geesus: WHENEVER I LOOK AT U AND PETE  MIKEY  
   
Mikey: its not the same its like looking at ur parents for me ur just protective  
   
Geesus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: mental breakdown: initiated   
   
Beeb: god im so ffuckinng lost  
   
Dalpal: lol  
   
Geesus: i hate all of you  
   
Fronk: 6 pages later  
   
Ryro: 666  
   
Spence: satan  
   
Veegen: satan my savior  
   
Dad: first of all arent there like 3 more people in this conversation  
   
The builder: hi  
   
Froyo: yoo  
   
Tyty: im pretty inactive  
   
Jish: same  
   
Dalpal: this chat is too full for everyone at once  
   
Froyo: i want froyo now i forgot my name  
   
The builder: lets go  
   
Froyo: bffl  
   
The builder: <3  
   
Beeb: nice  
   
Dalpal: cool  
   
Fronk: ok  
   
Geesus: im leaving now this has gone on too long  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: COMMENT BELOW FOR AN IPHONE 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1  
   
 

 

   
Spence: HEY FUCKERS ITS  MIDNIGHT  
   
Ryro: so  
   
Spence: SATURDAY  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: FOR THE BOYSSSSSSSSSSS  
   
Geesus: i hate u go to sleep  
   
Beeb: night night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> $$$$LAMINNN that LIKE BUTTONNNN


	13. general fuckery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there was so much more than I thought???
> 
> I fuckin love cards against humanity,,, I play everyday at lunch
> 
> NOT ANYMORE TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOLLLL
> 
> YAY IM FREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: mom  
> PETE: Mikey's Bitch  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: Mikey  
> GERARD: Geesus  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: Dad  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish  
> RAY: froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dalpal  
> SPENCER: spence  
> RYAN: ryro  
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

Mikey’s Bitch: in light of meme trends that the bare mention of breaks the fourth wall,,,  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: usually, when i make eggs, i make them scrambled, but yours, i'll fertilize  
   
Mikey: literally all of us r fucking males wtf do you want  
   
Mom: biologically,,,,,   
   
Tyty: thanks tbh i didnt wanna say anything   
   
Geesus: AND BE THAT GUY AMIRITE TYLER  
   
Tyty: YEAHHHHHHHHHH  
   
Jish: homoerotic bonding   
   
Fronk: isn’t that an anime???  
   
Dad: what the fuck isn’t an anime  
   
Ryro: yoou fuckers guess who bought cards against humanity   
   
Beeb: FU K YEAH IM A BEAST AT THAT GAME  
   
Spence: bc you relate to the cards too well, bren.  
   
Dalpal: once i played with my mom and tied in first place w/her  
   
Mom: u must have the chilliest fucking parents  
   
Dalpal: yeah lol  
   
Geesus: LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MIKEY  
   
Mikey: geeee noooooooooooooo  
   
Geesus: when mikey was like 3, he fuckin hit mom on the leg and called her a “fucking bitch” bc he saw her do it to the dog all the time  
   
Dad: no fucking way omg  
   
Mikey: i h8 u  
   
Geesus: not as much as u hate mom  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: HOLYSHITHARDCOREBABYYY  
   
Mom: when i was a kid, most of my “lullabies” were rock songs  
   
Mom: like,,,, ACDC and green day and pink floyd and even nickelback  
   
Dad: i don’t actually hate nickelback y is that a meme  
   
Dad: 8 year old me fuckin jammed to how you remind me  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: everyone hold their shit bc these r made up opinions  
   
Mikey: r u breaking the fourth wall or being existential?  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: a little bit of both  
   
Tyty: relatable  
 

Geesus: so winter finals everyone whos ready  
   
Fronk: LISTEN,,,,  
   
Jish: kms  
   
Tyty: ,,, i need to study so hard  
   
Beeb: i cant wait for break

Ryro: quick guilty pleasure music  
   
Beeb: one direction  
   
Dalpal: 5sos  
   
Fronk: katy perry  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: beyonce  
   
Mikey: 1d  
   
Geesus: taylor swift  
   
Spence: miley cyrus  
   
Beeb: I WANT I WANT I WANT   
BUT THAT'S CRAZY  
   
Mikey: FUCKING JAM  
   
Dad: y r we all teenage girls?   
   
Mom: fuck off i love 5sos  
   
Tyty: katy is a cool cat B-)  
   
Jish:  taylor is cool  
   
Geesus: katy the kool kat  
   
Tyty: kys  
   
Geesus: KITTYS GOT CLAWS  
   
Tyty: THROW YOURSELF BODILY OFF A CLIFF  
   
Geesus: I WILL FINALLY HAVE PEACE IN THE SWEET PIT OF DEATH  
   
Fronk: can all the emos please move your fringes aside  
   
Mikey: you do know who youre talking too right  
   
Mom: pot, kettle, black.   
   
Dad: fuckign ROAST EMMM  
   
Dalpal: anyway,,,   
Beeb: why did u ask about music ry  
   
Ryro: i wanted to feel less guilty for listening to 1d  
   
Mikey: fuckin own  
   
Spence: why are we, a collective, like this  
   
Tyty: idk  
   
Jish: idk  
   
Dad: SPOTIFY ADS CAN SUCK MY DICK  
   
Mom: then what the fuck am i for  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: if it can suck u stop ruining patricks knees dickhole  
   
Veegen: me, a lurker  
   
Beeb: wtf happens  
   
Veegen: it starts almost fine but then it just goes to shit  
   
Tyty: MY LIFE IN A PHRASE  
   
Jish: relatable meme teen over here  
   
Tyty: im gonna follow gee off that cliff here in a sec  
   
   
Geesus: so whos up for high cards against humanity  
   
Ryro: i only have the main game and no expansions  
   
Mikey: me n gee have 2 and 6  
   
Geesus: one day, we will have the Bigger Blacker Box  
   
Fronk: #goals  
   
Spence: anyway im going to bed now i have 2 finals tomorrow  
   
Ryro: gl   
   
Spence: thanks  
   
Beeb: o yeah tests  
   
Dalpal: ew  
   
Geesus: nighty night  
   
Fronk: sleep tight and dont let the existential dread bite  
   
Ryro: has some one said that before?   
   
Fronk: idc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhh,,,,,,,, 
> 
> maybe more updates bc summer means less excuses
> 
> this excuse is finals :-)


	14. DONT MESS WITH TEXAS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its 1 am and I have a headache and 178 comments inn my inbox bc me and SOMEONE have literally exclusively been communicating through comments 
> 
> fuck u blake
> 
> hi Sophia u fake friend ik youll never see this BC U DONT READ MY STORIES WHY DID YOU MOVE TO TEXAS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: mom  
> PETE: Mikey's Bitch  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: Mikey  
> GERARD: Geesus  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: Dad  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish  
> RAY: froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dalpal  
> SPENCER: spence  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
>  
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

Beeb: im bored  
   
Ryro: same  
   
Beeb: when i was leaving my last class i just,, was hit with a wave of depression and now i want 2 die  
   
Ryro: o  
   
Spence: im just glad finals r over for now  
   
Dalpal: true  
   
Mikey: I HAVE TO FUCKINNG RETAKE MATH NEXT YEAR  
   
Mikey: I GOT A D BC I DIDNT HAVE TIME TO WORK THE PROBLEMS AND I FAILED  
   
Geesus: mom might kill u  
   
Mikey: there's nothing she can do i've already acknowledged i fucked up  
   
Mikey: i hate myself so much but it's holidays now there nothing i can do  
   
Geesus: u gotta do better bc COLLEGE  
   
Mikey: either way i don't think freshman year grades matter thatttt much   
   
Geesus: you better do really well the next 3 years then  
   
Beeb: i was hoping for nice holidays :-(  
   
Dalpal: whatever im gonna work at mcdonalds  
   
Beeb: im gonna be a stripper  
   
Spence: u do have the legs  
   
Ryro: lmfao  
   
Geesus: is anyone doing anything cool  
   
Tyty: i was gonna play mariokart   
   
Jish: we should do a huge tournament  
   
Dad: prize?   
   
Mikey’s Bitch: everyone should pool their christmas money from the distant relatives  
   
Mikey: good idea  
   
Geesus: aunt barbara scares me  
   
Mikey: shes not even our aunt  
   
Geesus: wtf  
   
Mikey: she's like our second cousins step mom  
   
Geesus: wtf  
   
Mikey’s bitch: lol  
   
   
   
Mom: i wanna change my image  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: ?  
   
Mom: trucker hat fat kid isn’t working out for me anymore  
   
Geesus: u remind me of me  
   
Mikey: BOY HOWDY   
   
Geesus: uhhh?  
   
Mikey: i was gonna go on then i realized my instinct was to say “boy howdy” and idk how i feel about that  
   
Dad: lol  
   
Dalpal: boy howdy is sexist  
   
Fronk: girls can howdy too you misogynist  
   
Geesus: is now the time to analyze the phrase boy howdy   
   
Daplap: yes  
   
Ryro: time is an illusion  
   
Beeb: im tired  
   
Beeb: depression nap time  
   
Ryro: same  
   
Dad: guess whos joining you guys for second semester?   
   
Mom: no fucking way  
   
Mikey: theres 2 of us.  
   
Geesus: kys  
   
Dad: MY MOM AGREEED TO TRANSFER ME NO MORE PRIVATE SCHOOL  
   
Veegen: my mom said i cant come till next year :,-(  
   
Dad: ik :.-(  
   
Geesus: sniff   
:> (  
   
Fronk: omg   
   
Mikey’s Bitch: yeet yeet  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: the whole squad? Hahhah  
   
Geesus: kys  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: some1 needs to get laid  
   
Mikey’s Bitch: frank?   
   
Fronk: idk what cliche world u come from but high schoolers dont actually have that much sex   
   
Geesus:  r u saying u dont want me?   
…   
Sniff  
:> (  
   
Fronk: OMG  
   
Dalpal: y r we like this  
   
Ryro: y not tbh  
   
Dalpal: well im going to bed, no sense in putting off the nightmares you all cause me  
   
Spence: JUST SAY YALL ITS FASTER  
   
Dalpal: THIS ISNTT TEXAS  
   
Ryro: we’re too gay for texas  
   
Geesus: true  
   
Ryro: anyway,,, gn  
   
Dalpal: same  
   
Spence: time to hit the hay  
   
Dalpal: NO  
   
Spence: there's this guy in my last class who wear a cowboy hat and wouldn't let my friend touch it bc she was a girl and didn't understand cowboy culture and etiquette and i spent 15 minutes laughing about cowboy subculture existing  
   
Geesus: i;m crying? O,,,mg   
   
Fronk: lol  
   
Spence: rule one is dont let a girl touch ur hat  
   
Mikey: im sensing a theme? My boy howdy started a trend  
   
Geesus: its too late for this  
   
Mikey: by gn i mean im gonna look at memes  
   
Mikeys Bitch: a man after my own heart   
   
Geesus: gn   
   
Mikey: IVE HAD THE SAME SONG ON REPEAT FOR 3 HOURS  
   
Geesus: i dont wanna deal with ur mental break rn go to bed  
   
Mikey: ,,,   
:> (  
Sniff  
   
Fronk: ur own creation used against you  
   
Tyty: STFU  
   
Tyty: JUST BC UR UGLY DOESNT MEAN THE REST OF US SHOULD BE TOO LET US GET OUR BEAUTY SLEEP  
   
Fronk: damnnn  
   
Fronk: and i cant say “no amount of sleep will fix ur face” bc spencer used that one a while ago  
   
Geesus: listen to the man  
   
Mikey: unconsciousness here i come  
   
   
Mikey: HHEY YOU KNOW HOW I SAID ID HAVE TO RRETAKE MATH  
   
Mikey: WELL IM A FUCKIN LIAR SHE JUST DIDNT PUT IN THE SCORES   
   
Mikey: C- BABY  
   
Geesus: Cs GET DEGREES  
   
Mikey: FUCKIN YEAHHHHHHH   
   
Fronk: congrats  
   
Mikey: niice now im heading off to a slightly happier unconsciousness  
   
Geesuus: night bro  
   
Mikey: gn bro  
   
Fronk: the  concept that u guys r like Brothers is weird for no reason??/  
   
Fronk: i cannot comprehend family death and distannce among something  
   
Geesus: frank r u high??   
   
Fronk: nah im only 5’6”   
   
Fronk: pretty averagely short  
   
Fronk: averagely is WEIRD  
   
Geesus: stfu frank  
   
Fronk: ok   
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COWBOY SUBCULTURE IS REAL THAT REALLY HAPPENED TO ME


	15. ultra gay FLUFF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired and I rlly love brrendon urie ooakY? I'm crying a little for no reason
> 
> I'm not high SWARE
> 
> rlly^ I'm a good child
> 
> I don't know a whole lot about ryan ross but tbh he seems so fuckin fgreat I wanna meet him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: mom  
> PETE: Mikey's Bitch  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: Mikey  
> GERARD: Geesus  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: Dad  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish
> 
> RAY: froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dalpal  
> SPENCER: spence  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

Tyty: u kno wat

 

Tyty: i miss my pal ryan ross

 

Ryro: AWWW BUD

 

Ryro: unrelated, brendon uries existence makes me want to throw up 

 

Beeb: HEY

 

Ryro: but in like a good way?? Idk how to explain

 

Ryro: im srry for thiss

 

Tyty: ??

 

Ryro: ily brendon, youre actually my best friend and my life wouldnt be complete without u

 

Mikey’s Bitch: ewwww

 

_ Mikey’s Bitch changed their name to Peter _

 

Beeb: OMG RYNA

 

Beeb: ILY2 BUT THIS IS RLLY GAY

 

Ryro: every1 in this chat is at least a little homosexual

 

Tyty: true

 

Peter: everything about this so far has been affectionate and GROSS

 

Geesus: awww guys that's sweet

 

Fronk: 2 types of ppl

 

Tyty: i was gonna ask if u wanted too hang out ry but u seem to be busy being gayyy witth bren

 

Beeb: ryan u must come ovr now

 

Ryro: i mean

 

Ryro: okay,,

 

Beeb: … :D

 

Ryro: STOP BEING ADORABLE 

 

Beeb: to clarify, we r not being homosexual together non platonically

 

Ryro: we would be adorable but no thanks

 

Tyty: i ship it tbh

 

Beeb: NO KYS

 

Geesus: U KNOW WHO I SHIP

 

Fronk: me n u???? 

 

Geesus: me “n” pizza

 

Fronk: same

 

Fronk: can me u and pizza have a threesome

 

Geesus: get ur own pizza

 

Peter: wtf happened did u all get high without telling me???

 

Ryro: NO I JUST LOVE MY FRIENDS PETER

 

Tyty: the only emotions pete feels r hungry and horny

 

Mom: if hes not jerking off, make him a sandwich

 

Dad: lmfao

 

Jish: classic meme but from when? 

 

Tyty: i vaguely remember it but not the format??? 

 

Jish: spoop

 

Mom: anyway, since ppl r being fluffy then

 

Mom: pete ur my best friend ily man

 

Peter: GOD THIS IS GROSS

 

Mikey: same^

 

Dad: they would be a match made in heaven if they believed in it.

 

Mom: LLMFAO

 

Geesus: anyway best friend appreciation day

 

Geesus: love u ray 

 

Froyo: NO WAY MAN 

 

Froyo: i will honor this blessing,,,

 

Fronk: uhhhh

 

Fronk: FUCK I GOT MIKEY DONT I

 

Mikey: frank i s2g

 

Fronk: LOVE U BRO

 

Veegen: hi

 

Dad: ANDYYYY BESTIE

 

Tyty: well fuck me josh was my bff and nnow hes just my bf 

 

Jish: uhhh

 

Dalpal: wtf

 

Spence: no.

 

Dalpal: SPENCER HOW COULD U DENY ME

 

Spence: I HAVE SPOKEN TO YOU LIKE 5 TIMES IRL

 

Dalap: THAT'S MORE THAN ANY1 ELSE I TALK TO

 

Spence: fine

 

Jish: ily ty

 

Tyty: ily2 josh

 

Spence: im gonna go listen to polka and then kill myself

 

Beeb: same

 

Ryro: here bren open the fuck upp

 

Beeb: chiLL

 

Peter: did you rlly walk 4 miles to brendons house

 

Ryro: nah i got an uber

 

Peter: LMFAO REALLY

 

Ryro: yea it was awkward but im too lazy

 

Spence:

 

Beeb: HOW DID YOU GET THAT

 

Spence: I HAVE A PICTURE OF WHAT LOOKS LIKE YOU FUCKERS KISSING

 

Beeb: WHAT

 

Ryro: WHAT

 

Spence: 

 

Ryro: omg

 

Bren: omg

 

 

Mikey: tbh you guys would be cute

 

Ryro: maybe in another life

 

Brendon: id bet in some alternate reality we’d  be fuckin rn

 

Ryro: but that's y we’re not. ^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might write another story with peterick and ryden instead 
> 
> rad?


	16. sephora

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GIRL GEE CREDIT GOES TO ZOMBIENERDBALL ON DEVIANT ART
> 
> I don't have permission but it came up in search as #1 and was also the best
> 
> anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: mom  
> PETE: Peter  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: Mikey  
> GERARD: Geesus  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: Dad  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish
> 
> RAY: froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dalpal  
> SPENCER: spence  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

Geesus: i want fake lashes

 

Tyty: you’d look so PRETTY

 

Geesus: ^.^

 

Tyty: YOUD BE THE PRETTIEST GIRL OMG

 

Geesus: i’d fucking slay

 

Fronk: yes u would bby

 

Tyty: brb

 

Geesus: anyway

 

Geesus: frank buy me fake lashes

 

Tyty: GEE

 

Geesus: ???

 

Tyty: 

Geesus:  **_HOLY SHIT_ **

 

Tyty: wonders of photoshop 

 

Fronk: id bang girl gee

 

Geesus: u better, asshole

 

Tyty: anyway,

 

Geesus: i still want fake lashes

 

Geesus: im going to sephora does anyone wanna come with

 

Mom: MEE

 

Peter: this is a new development

 

Mom: the only new development is the winged eyeliner im about to have

 

Mom: so sharp ill fuckin cut u with it peter stay out of my business

 

Peter: kitties got CLAWS

 

Ryro: I WANNA GO 

 

Beeb: ryan u do not need more makeup

 

Ryro: my mom threw out the last batch :-(

 

Beeb: nvm get what u want its on me

 

Ryro: :-)

 

Ryro: is this what having a sugar daddy feels like

 

Geesus: id like to think so

 

Beeb: i guess im going then

 

Geesus: nice

 

Beeb: can someone drive us tho

 

Ryro: we r children, helpless children

 

Mom: ya ya

 

Beeb: nice

 

Mikey: can someone just get me eyeliner

 

Mikey: i dont wanna make a big deal for just 1 thing

 

Geeeus: ok but u owe me the next last slice of pizza

 

Mikey: … deal

 

Geesus: :-)

 

Fronk: my elbow made a sharp popping sound

 

Fronk: my joints r fuckin rice krispies

 

Tyty: ???

 

Fronk:  **_snap crackle pop_ **

 

Mikey: LMFAO

 

Fronk: there goes my knee,,,

 

Peter: ok old man

 

Fronk: get the fuck off my lawn u shitty kids

 

Mom: gee u want a ride 2? I got the kids 

 

Geesus: pls mom

 

Mom: k 

 

Dad: TEXTING AND DRIVING IS BAD

 

Mom: im exploiting child labor

 

Peter: brendon no

 

Mom: brENDON YES

 

Mom: damn

 

Beeb: i was caught

 

Ryro: stupid head

 

Beeb: FIGHT ME

 

Ryro: no patrick said if we were good he’d buy us something REMEMBER 

 

Beeb: tru

 

Ryro: u kno u want that sugar scrub

 

Beeb: ,,,,

 

Mom: we’re here Gerard do not make me honk

 

Geesus: yes mom

 

Peter: anyway

 

Peter: how about those new memes

 

Mikey: dwayne johnson is my fav

 

Peter: i like the shaq ones

 

Dad: hello, food?

 

Peter: food broke

 

Mikey: well they were funny until this

 

Peter: :-(

 

Mikey: shut up peter

 

Mikey: btw im coming to ur house now

 

Peter: ???

 

Mikey: gee is gone im bored

 

Peter: ok

 

Dad: as official Dad, do not do anything to upset your brother

 

Peter: ;-)

 

Mikey: ;-)

 

Geesus: HELL NO WENTZ

 

Mikey: dw gee i just wanna watch supernatural

 

Mikey: if he tries to interrupt ill fuckin salt and burn him

 

Geesus: U BETTER

 

Tyty: anyway im gonna take my daily nap now

 

Tyty: id appreciate it if u all stfu

 

Mikey: mean

 

Tyty: DEAN DIES 

 

Tyty: SAM DIES

 

Mikey: FUCK YOU TOO TYLER YOU KNOW IM NEW

 

Jish: this is what happens when he misses his nap

 

Jish: come here or ill drink ur warm milk

 

Tyty:  **_COMING_ **

 

Dad: lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna start developing brallon and whatever spencer and ryan are
> 
> soon
> 
> ignore that its bold italics in text bc I don't care anymore


	17. BJ hangout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> listen to srar pls
> 
> thnk u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: mom // trick  
> PETE: Peter  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: Mikey  
> GERARD: Geesus  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: Dad // trohoe  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish
> 
> RAY: froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dalpal  
> SPENCER: spence  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
>  

Geesus:  **_FISTICUFFS RIGHT FUCKING NOW, WENTZ_ **

 

Peter: what did i do???

 

Mikey: IM SORRY PETE

 

Peter:  **_OH NO_ **

 

Geesus: YOU MADE HIM GIVE YOU A BLOW JOB

 

Peter: THERE WAS CONSENT HE ASKED

 

Mikey: I DID GEE

 

Geesus: BUT DID ANYONE ASK ME???

 

Mikey: i decided i was ready u have no shit business in my sex life

 

Geesus: UR 14 U SHOULDNT HAVE A SEX LIFE

 

Mikey: ITS NOT LIKE I TOOK IT UP THE ASS

 

Geesus: OH SO THAT'S ON THE TABLE NOW

 

Mikey: NOT RIGHT NOW BUT IN THE FUTURE I IMAGINE I WILL

 

Peter: im just gonna go

 

Geesus: OH NO YOU DONT

 

Geesus: mikey is right, i rlly have no business. But if i ever heard one goddamn word from his mouth that is even slightly incriminating about you, i will burn everything you love, and then burn the ashes. 

 

Peter: gotcha

 

Geesus: exCUSE ME?

 

Peter: SIR YES SIR

 

Mikey: tbh the whole threatening thing is kind of old ur like a kitten

 

Geesus: tbh im relying on my leftover creep factor form the basement years

 

Mikey: The Basement Years ™

 

Peter: now that that has been revealed im suddenly a lot calmer

 

Geesus: frank, back me up?

 

Fronk: ill do whatever my queen says and i may be small but i am RAGE

 

Peter: that i take seriously

 

Geesus: barring that, i do have a pyrotechnics problem and u have a wooden house, so.

 

Fronk: true

 

Peter: i promise ill behave and nothing will be done without consent

 

Mikey: it better not be, bitch

 

Tyty: wonderful performance

 

Jish: round of applause

 

Mom: personal development, pete.

 

Dad: my kids r growing up so fast

 

Dalpal: aw, shucks.

 

Beeb: anyway im bored anyone wanna HANG

 

Dalpal: my parents arent home

 

Beeb: at christmas vacation???

 

Dalpal: they went to visit relatives that “dont agree with my alternative lifestyle” 

 

Beeb: ONMYWAY

 

Dalpal: the only thing that's “alternative” is my records, barbra.

 

Ryro:  you gettem, dal

 

Spence: hey ry

 

Ryro: yea??

 

Spence: come over? 

 

Ryro: k

 

Tyty: EVERYONES VISITING

 

Jish: come on, tyler.

 

Tyty: <3

 

Mom: why are we all so codependent??/

 

Dad: idk. Can i come over babe??

 

Mom: i guess.

 

Dad: dont sound so enthusiastic wow

 

Peter: patrick cock blocks himself

 

Mom: bitch im getting more than u 

 

Dad: patrick removes the block

 

Peter: well damn 

 

Mom: suck it, wentz

 

Mom: oh, wait.

 

Dad: OHHH SHITTT

 

Mikey: i gotta admit

 

Mikey: youve got sass, patrick

 

_ Mom changed their name to Trick _

 

Trick: :-)

 

Dad: oh

 

_ Dad changed their name to Trohoe _

 

Mikey: anyway im gonna take a nap im tired of shouting at gerard

 

Geesus: same

 

Mikey: disney? 

 

Geesus: still love u bro

 

Mikey: <3

 

**_Later that day_ **

 

Beeb: anyone wanna tell me why dallon just kissed me goodbye???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do I post enough? 
> 
> content and update-wise?
> 
> anyway that brallon kiss
> 
> and that cheeky fob lyric ;-)


	18. BRALLON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: trick  
> PETE: Peter  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: Mikey  
> GERARD: Geesus  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: trohoe  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish
> 
> RAY: froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dalpal  
> SPENCER: spence  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 4 am I'm tired my back hurts and I used tape and bandages to bind today I'm falling apart
> 
> anyway enjoy the live action brallon kiss
> 
> mikey is everywhere

 

Ryro:  **_HOLY GUACAMOLE_ **

 

Beeb: y is that ur go to???

 

Ryro: idk

 

Beeb: anyway THAT happened

 

Trick: this reminds me of a similar situation. Mikey, narration?

 

Mikey: nOT TO BE CREEPY BUT I DID SEE THIS ONE TOO

 

Beeb: WTF

 

Mikey: I WAS WALKING TO THE GAS STATIONN WE RAN OUT OF POPCORN

 

Beeb: do ur thing then omg

 

Trohoe: tbh mikey is fucking omniscient 

 

Trohoe: I SPELLED THAT WITHOUT SPELLCHECK 

 

Trick: im proud

 

Beeb: im having an existential crisis ppl were polite to you guys

 

Trick: srry brendon

 

Trohoe: oops,

 

Mikey: brendon centric

The car pulled onto the street, stopping at the fourth house down. Brendon turned to smile at his friend and thank him for the ride, but he noticed something was off. “Dallon, you okay?” he asked with an innocent head tilt. Dallon swallowed thickly. “Yeah, fine.” Brendon turned to take off his seatbelt and open the door, but quick as light, Dallon was opening his door for him. It made him blush, though he wasn't sure why, because it was an innocent enough gesture. “I’m walking you to the door,” Dallon informed him. Brendon giggled. “And they say chivalry is dead!” 

 

The walk was silent, but tense for a reason Brendon couldn’t quite figure out. At the door, Dallon stood aside while Brendon unlocked it. As he made a move to go in, Dallon spoke. “Wait, Bren.” 

 

As Brendon turned around Dallon looped an arm around his waist and pulled him into a hug. Brendon laughed at this too. “You’ll see me tomorrow, silly!” Dallon sighed, “I’m hoping.” Brendon looked up puzzled, but before he could ask Dallon lowered his head, touching their lips. It was sweet and tender, as terribly romantic as that sounds. It was short, and Dallon pulled away while Brendon was still dazed, and kissed his forehead before pulling out of the hug and walking back down the path. Brendon watched as his best friend suddenly turned something more pulled away, and then went inside. 

 

What did he do now? 

 

Beeb: GIVE THIS MAN A ROUND OF APPLAUSE

 

Ryro: tbh that's really good

 

Mikey: anyway 

 

Trick: nice

 

Trohoe: 10/10

 

Beeb: anyway what do i do about this???? IM A CHILD

 

Ryro: IKR

 

Trick: what do you want to do? 

 

Beeb: tbh i like dallon a lot. He's a great guy but idk if what im feeling is romantic bc the only thing ive ever had has been with ryan???

 

Ryro: i think u should go for it

 

Ryro: one time u waxed poetic for like a half an hour about the way his eyes light up when he's happy, so

 

Trick: based on that fact alone i think u should call him

 

Trohoe: it doesn't have to be super serious bc ur 14 and still kinda confused

 

Trick: just test the waters a little

 

Trohoe: i think dallon would be fine if u decided against it later, and if he's not well MAKE him be fine with it

 

Trick: and if ur worried about ur friendship, if he's not okay with u not wanting it then u shouldnt be ur friend in the first place

 

Trohoe: if he rlly cares about you, he’ll just want you to be happy

 

Beeb: thnk u omg u r parents

 

Beeb: pls adopt me

 

Trick: i think ur real parents would object to that

 

Beeb: fuck ‘em

 

Beeb: anyway im gonna call dal and see whats up

 

Ryro: i wanna hear alll the dirty details later

 

Beeb: ryan im 14

 

Ryro: so???? 

 

Ryro: dallons not

 

Beeb: can u not 

 

Ryro: sorry i was joking around i didnt mean to make u uncomfortable and im sorry that i did

 

Beeb: its k just 

 

Beeb: a lot to take in

 

Ryro: i get u

 

Geesus: u guys have a good friendship, and i better be getting wedding invites to joetricks bc those two are fucking married

 

Trohoe: ;-)

 

Trick: i better not be seeing a ring till i walk that fucking graduation stage trohman

 

Trohoe: okay, babe

 

Fronk: im pretty sure everyones been lutking through this conversation and same gee

 

Tyty: ya lol

 

Jish: i highkey ship brallon 

 

Ryro: brendon once referred to him as “daddy dallon” 

 

Tyty: LMFAO

 

Geesus: someones got a kink

 

Fronk: i rlly didnt wanna think of that

 

Jish: it’ll be a while at least brendons young

 

Tyty: true

 

Geesus: they better not do it till he’s at least 15 and a half

 

Mikey: tbh same even tho i lectured u on PRIVACY

 

Mikey: no one’s really ready at 14

 

Ryro: true

 

Geesus: srry

 

Geesus: i cant pull off mother as well as patrick

 

Trick: no one can its okay sweetie

 

Trohoe: SASS

 

Spence: woah i missed a bit

 

Froyo: i have returned from the depths for this

 

Trohoe: hey ray

 

Froyo: hi

 

Beeb: hi yes

 

Ryro: ???????????????????????

 

Beeb: im getting a DATE

 

Dalpal: whats this i heard about daddy dal

 

Beeb: YOU TOLD THEM

 

Ryro: yea lol

 

Beeb: I AM MORTIFIED

 

Dalpal: its okay baby ill still lov u

 

Beeb: agh

 

Spence: im crying???

 

 

Ryro: same

 

Fronk: ahh yes all is resolved

 

Geesus: theres 4 ppl left

 

Froyo: me and bob have been dating for over a month gerard.

 

Geesus: WTF

 

Fronk: CONGRATS GUYS 

 

Froyo: we kept it quiet

 

Geesus: all of the pressure is on ryan and spencer

 

Fronk: ryence? Span? 

 

Geesus: ryence

 

Spence: i object

 

Ryro: span sounds like spam i hate spam

 

Spence: nasty shit

 

Geesus: true

 

Fronk: im shipping itt

 

Geesus: god we’re all so gay

 

Tyty: true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ryence


	19. lazytown and friendzone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> most of this chapter is just what ive been up to since the last update
> 
> how the fuck is it already july???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: trick  
> PETE: Peter  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: Mikey  
> GERARD: Geesus  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: trohoe  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish
> 
> RAY: froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dalpal  
> SPENCER: spence  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN
> 
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

 

Ryro: ive had the same song on repeat for 3 days and ive cried every time its played

 

Ryro: at the same time im pretty numb tbh

 

Ryro: idk

 

Spence: u okay? 

 

Ryro: not rlly

 

Spence: im coming over

 

Ryro: will u make me chicken soup

 

Spence: yes ryan i will make u chicken soup

 

Ryro: yay

 

Beeb: save me some omg

 

Geesus: ???

 

Beeb: spencer makes like LEGENDARY chicken noodle soup

 

Fronk: its just soup

 

Spence: ill make a rlly big batch and when ryan feels better u can all try it

 

Veegen: i feel left out

 

Fronk: same

 

Spence: ill make it with tofu for you guys

 

Fronk: inclusion

 

Veegen: hella

 

Geesus: is this a thing we’re doing now

 

Fronk: yes

 

Fronk: ill make vegan brownies

 

Mikey: they're pretty good 

 

Mikey: they're hyping up the soup tho

 

Geesus: tbh theres like nothing to talk about

 

Peter: tru

 

Mikey: im just bored

 

Peter: ugh

 

Geesus: ugh

 

Mikey: ugh

 

Fronk: ugh

 

 

 

Beeb: ive been reading lazytown fanfiction for like 5 hours

 

Mikey: myy guilty pleasure trope is harry potter avengers crossovers

 

Ryro: hp and twilight never fails to cheer me up

 

Beeb: true

 

Geesus: ive dabbled in fanfics myself

 

Geesus: i mean theres stories about everything

 

Beeb: the weirdest ive found today was lazytown and skyrim

 

Mikey: LMFAO

 

Ryro: i found a markiplier x will smith x courage the cowardly dog

 

Beeb: WHAT THE FUCK

 

Ryro: IKR

 

Mikey: holy shit

 

Geesus: im lauhgin

 

Dalpal: i ship phan

 

Dalpal: like, avidly

 

Beeb: HELLA

 

Mikey: i know 1D died but i was always a larry

 

Ryro: i had a weird obsession with harry styles when i was 12

 

Ryro: i have a poster and a barbie to just him

 

Beeb: ur creepy shrine room

 

Beeb: TAKE THEM DOWN

 

Ryro: NO

 

Ryro: they are a part of me now

 

Ryro: and for 1D i have 2 posters a pillow case and 2 shirts

 

Mikey: omg

 

Geesus: frank and ray have the same but iron maiden

 

Ryro: yea but mines fucking one direction

 

Beeb: idk y they get so much hate tbh just let ppl exist

 

Mikey: ^^^

 

Beeb: anyway i ship sportacus and robbie rotten

 

Mikey: didnt robbe rottens actor like JUST die

 

Beeb: i think so

 

Beeb: my friend told me about half way through my adventure and i may have cried

 

Ryro: lmfao

 

Geesus: all of us are a huge mess

 

Spence: ryan the soup is done

 

Ryan: I COULD KISS U

 

Spence: hahahahiwouldntstopyouahahhaha

 

Ryro: ???

 

Spence: i dont want herpes 

 

Ryro: FUCK YOU

 

Beeb: holy shiht

 

Geesus: same

 

Mikey: ^^

 

Spence: shush he didnt notice

 

Ryro: didnt notice what??

 

Spence: nothing ry  

 

Spence: im bringing you the soup now

 

Ryro; thanks spencer

 

Ryro: ur a good pal

 

Beeb: #friendzoned

 

Geesus: lmao

 

Mikey: crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song i was listening to on repeat was save rock and roll but the other day i changed it to champion 
> 
> (fall out boy) 
> 
> anyway i came out to my parents and im very proud i did it on the last day of pride month


	20. memory loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: trick  
> PETE: Peter  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: Mikey  
> GERARD: Geesus  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: trohoe  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish  
> RAY: froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dalpal  
> SPENCER: spence  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

Beeb: i accidentally came out

 

Ryro: ?????

 

Beeb: i couldnt resist a gay joke

 

Beeb: on an unrelated note, can i stay over at anyones house tonight? 

 

Ryro:  ????!?!???!?!?!?!!?!?!?~!!

 

Beeb: they didn’t kick me out i just got so nervous i ran away

 

Dalpal: o m g 

 

Dalpal: i’d offer but its a school night ad my daddy-o is strict

 

Beeb: please literally never say that again

 

Dalpal: daddy-o

 

Beeb: welcum to the single life

 

Dalpal: im srry

 

Beeb: i dont accept

 

Dalpal: is this our first fight????

 

Beeb: yes

 

Ryro: someone get the scrapbook 

 

Geesus: honestly u guys r a wreck this is hilarious

 

Geesus: and brendo buddy 

 

Geesus: we’re not like,,,, close but my couch is open

 

Beeb: please literally never say that again

 

Mikey: i made fudge

 

Geesus: ???

 

Mikey: it was a 3 minute recipe and i rllllyyyy wanted chocolate

 

Beeb: yea im stayin at the Gays

 

Beeb: WAYS******

 

Geesus: dont lie everyone in this chat is homosexual u meant that

 

Mikey: god i havent seen a straight person in like a week 

 

Geesus: school???

 

Mikey: i didnt look at anyone it counts

 

Geesus: mom??? Dad????

 

Mikey: have u MET our parents??

 

Geesus: true

 

Beeb: anyway im here pls let me in im cold its getting dark

 

Mikey: cumming ;)

 

Beeb: actually its okay i'll sleep in this bush

 

Geesus: THERE WILL BE NONE OF THAT UNDER THIS ROOF

 

Beeb: thnk u for protecting my honor

 

Mikey: damnnnn gee encouraging that public sex kink

 

Geesus: im gonna get u baptized

 

Fronk:i just listened to one direction for the first time

 

Ryro: 1D virginity

 

Fronk: please eviscerate yourself

 

Fronk: anyway it was pretty catchy 

 

Fronk: but i was thinking we should do death metal covers???

 

Geesus: YES

 

Mikey: i found some on youtube im dying

 

Geesus: holy shit

 

Geesus: its so loud please stop

 

Fronk: im not sorry

 

Mikey: this is my new fav song

 

Spence: i finally made a new spotify and reset my computer name

 

Mikey: congrats dude

 

Spence: thx

 

Mikey: i named my laptop mikeyee

 

Mikey: and my netflix, and almost my playstation account

 

Geesus: uh, why? 

 

Mikey: bc just having ur name is BORING

 

Spence: mine was just my name but i didn’t like it

 

Ryro: spencerror is what it is now i can see it from here

 

Spence: bc im a mistake ;)

 

Ryro: :(

 

Spence: its funny

 

Trick: i hate to break it to you but you dont have a future in comedy

 

Peter: nice

 

_ Peter changed his name to Peet _

 

Peet: it was too proper

 

Trick: i made a mistake sign language is too hard

 

Peet: french ;)

 

Trick: i hate this class i look ugly on film

 

Trohoe: im here now hi lets talk about the public school we all go to 

 

Peet: hasn’t the novelty worn off by now with the shitty lunches and terrible everything else

 

Trick: u know my mom does her best

 

Peet: the cookies r nice but theyre not even that good

 

Ryro: can anyone make okay fanart

 

Geesus: im pretty good at drawing

 

Dalpal: im okay

 

Ryro: can i commission something for the fanfic im writing 

 

Dalpal: ship??? 

 

Ryro: drarry lol

 

Geesus: i love harry potter

 

Dalpal: i want $20

 

Geesus: I’ll do it for free

 

Ryro: wow u drive a hard bargin

 

Ryro: but i’m gonna have tto go with gee

 

Geesus: i want the link though 

 

Ryro: ill PM u 

 

Dalpal: damn

 

ryro:  i went on this whole rant yesterday about how the whole idea that “if it makes u happy, do it!” concerning things ur bad at, and like. Its not true. Ppl dont care if it makes u happy if ur bad they just  pretend to. It all started from some shitty phan art i traced,,,

 

ryro: then i listened to angry music and cried

 

Peet: we’re gay and emo

 

Fronk: Emo Girl Wants Dick More Than She Wants To Die

 

Fronk: a song by pete wentz

 

Peet: if i had a band id name it fall out boy

 

Peet: who is in my band??? 

 

Tyty: oh hey guys i like music too

 

Jish: hella

 

Beeb: didn;t we talk about this already? I can tell if i imagined it or nott

 

Trick: i couldn;t find it in the chat history idk

 

Beeb: wtf???? There was a whole thing with youtube covers??? 

 

Trick: maybe we imagined it???? 

 

Peet: maybe this is a fanfiction and the writer can’t remember if it was this one or something else

 

Trick: what would we be doing in the future to warrant a fanfiction? 

 

Peet: M BAND FALL OUT BOY

 

Peet: u, joe and andy r in it now

 

Fronk: i want to start a band too

 

Fronk: gee, mikey, ray and bob. I called it

 

Geesus: okay i guess

 

Ryro: me bren and spencer, and theres this guy called jon

 

Ryro: he’s het he cant be in the chat but hes in the band

 

Dalpal: guys, im actually in a band???

 

Dalpal: no ones ever come to my shows???

 

Dalpal: the brobecks????? ?

 

Tyty: me and jish will start a band. Dynamic duo

 

Spence: are we running out of things to talk about again

 

Mikey: i think so^

 

Spence: we’re in highschool we wont be like, a good band

 

Peet: whatevr ur just jealous of fall out boy

 

Ryro: panic! at the disco will take u fucking down

 

Beeb: is that what we’re called?? 

 

Ryro: yes

 

Geesus: my chemical romance will fite u???

 

Dalpal: I EXIST

 

Beeb: wow apparently everyone thinks ur part of panic??? 

 

Dalpal: I HAVE MY OWN ACCOMPLISHMENTS

 

Ryro: cute.

 

Peet: anyway about that part where we talked about this one before but the author I MEAN WE cant find any proof, just memories?? Weird right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i remember looking on youtube for covers???? and pasting them??? maybe i just didnt post??? idk man
> 
>  
> 
> comment the chapter if u remember


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whose ready to die??? THIS BITCH
> 
> its been like a whole month i dont even think anyones reading anymore tbh
> 
> i forgot how to type and im PISSED spotify removed the repeat option. it was a cheat way to get out of ads >:-(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PATRICK: trick  
> PETE: Peet  
> BRENDON: beeb  
> MIKEYWAY: Mikey  
> GERARD: Geesus  
> FRANK: fronk  
> ANDY: veegen  
> JOE: trohoe  
> TYLER: tyty  
> JOSH: jish  
> RAY: froyo  
> BOB: the builder  
> DALLON: dalpal  
> SPENCER: spence  
> RYAN: ryro
> 
> Gerard: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Frank: 17 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Patrick: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Pete: 16 (just turned) JUNIOR  
> Tyler: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Josh: 16 (just turned) SOPHOMORE  
> Mikey: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Brendon: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Bob: 17 (turning 18) SENIOR  
> Ray: 16 (turning 17) JUNIOR  
> Spencer: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE  
> Ryan: 14 (turning 15) FRESHMAN  
> Dallon: 15 (turning 16) SOPHOMORE

Peet: whats up fucks

Trick: holy shit its been like forever 

Beeb: like a whole month

Jish: my nose ring ripped out when i slept. the opposite way its supposed to go. 

Fronk: holy shit pal

Jish: brb im gonna go set myself on fire

Tyty: no!!! Bad

Beeb: nice going man

Ryro: drag me down is a fucking bop

Ryro: do people still say that? Whatever

Beeb: holy shit i love that song

Jsih: TEMPORARY FIX

Ryro: let me be your goodnight 

Geesus: hey guys. I want to fuckinng die. Never be a senior. Fuck college. 

Fronk: awww

Geesus: frank come over and distract me

Fronk: ;-)

Geesus: nvm

Mikey: you guys are ridiculous

Geesus: your username is the most uncreative thing ive ever seen and i have seen you

Ryro: WONT YOU STAY TILL THE AM

Beeb: are you crying

Ryro: im not gonna lie. yes. 

Mikey: i like how, us, a group of teenage boys, are ALSO a group of teenage girls. 

Geesus: i may still be a teenage but they scare the shit out of me

Geesus: if i ever saw one outside of school id cry. luckily i never leave the house

Mikey: lol

Spence: im more of a classic up all night kinda guy

Dalpal: honestly i stan midnight memories

Ryro: nice 

Beeb: anyway

Beeb: im bored

Beeb: and i actually am drowning in homework

Ryro: do it hoe

Beeb: buuuuututttttttttttttttttttttt

Spence: at least its still sunday

Beeb: its the lords day

Peet: everyday is the lords day CORINTHIANS 2:11

Peet: that would be more effective with emojis

Ryro: what is the bible verse though

Peet: idk i pulled it outta my ass

Beeb: that must have hurt

Ryro: o m g 

Trick: hi guys

Dalpal: you should say yall 

Trick: no.

Dalpal: i found out my mom hates it so its all i say now

Geesus: casual teen rebellion

Dalpal: has there even been a topic of conversation 

Geesus: no its a mess

Ryro: “For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.”

Ryro: i googled it

Peet: nice

Trick: this is the gayest and most atheist chat ive ever been in why are we quoting the bible

Dalpal: i bet like half of us are agnostic

ryro: religion is gross

Spence: lets not talk about that Pals

Dalpal: nice

Beeb: dallon entertain me

Dalpal: but u have homework

Beeb: ill do it im just lonely :-(

Dalpal: omw then

Peet: oh how the mighty fall (in love) 

Fronk: pete youre one to talk

Geesus: i took a picture of you guys once and someone described it “petes looking at mikey like he hung the sun in the sky” 

Peet: sHUSH

Mikey: that's fuckinng adorable???

Peet: nvm continue

Mikey: can i come over? 

Peet: YES

Mikey: lol someone misses me

Peet: i miss missing you now and then 

 

Mikey: i swear to god youre just talking in song lyrics

Peet: ;-)

Trick: hi guys im back

Trohoe: !!! my favorite human !!! 

Trick: aww

Peet: anyway

Peet: i cant believe our reintroduction chapter is this BORING

Peet i demand a better author

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suck a dick thx :-*
> 
> i wana die??? school and coming out and anxiety all the fuckin time bois
> 
> all i fucking do is watch pewdiepie and cry about fall out boy tbh
> 
> YOU CAN WEAR A CROWN BUT YOU'RE NO PRINCESS

**Author's Note:**

> hi I love u and I'm a notification whore comment and kudos pls and thanks 
> 
> u can suggest shit bc all of this is coming off the top of my head 
> 
> WARNING that idk how to write a lot of these characters but you can't have a bad group chat without them so they won't always be there


End file.
